Time to bury the peaches?

Several years ago I taught a workshop at Butler University entitled “Encouraging Kids to Grow.” One of the assignments was for each student to share a story from their family that contributed to their growth. One of the students shared the story of “The Peaches.”

It seems that in the late 1800’s there was a great grandmother who was in the midst of the yearly ritual of canning peaches from the family’s own trees. At the same time, she had a son, Billy, who was very ill. Billy was so ill that he was unable to eat his beloved peaches, so his mother canned a special jar and set it aside for when Billy was well again. 

Unfortunately, Billy did not get well. In fact, he died about a month later. Grief-stricken, his mother kept this special jar of peaches and, upon her death, the jar was passed to her daughter. 

This was not just a jar, but also a family tradition. Each member of the family knew the story of Billy and the peaches. The jar was taken to reunions and other events for many, many years. 

By the early 2000’s, after having been passed down to various family members through the years for safekeeping, the seal of the jar was long since broken and the peaches were blackened and dried and no longer anything to look at. They had been passed to my student’s mother, who decided it was time for the tradition to end. 

She sent out many invitations, as the story of the peaches was well known throughout the family. A date was set and on that date many relatives from far and wide gathered at the cemetery at Billy’s weathered stone. With great solemnity a small hole was dug and the jar with the peaches was buried with Billy.

I have thought of this story many times over the years. It seems there are so many people who carry the proverbial jar of peaches around over the years. It is usually something that meant something at some time, but it has been carried around though it be blackened with age or misguided memory. 

Hebrews 12:1 tells us “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.”

Psalm 55:22  says, “Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you.”

There are many things in our past that we have the option of carrying around with us through the present and future, yet eventually the carrying itself becomes a burden and what used to have deep meaning has outlived its purpose. It may be something you’ve done or something done to you. It may simply be something you did to yourself that only you remember but it nags at your very being.

Is it time to get out the shovel and bury the peaches? Let go of the hurt; let the memory of the past no longer cripple your today. It may be time to let it go and, as the Optimist Creed says, “to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.”

What are you carrying round? Is it time to bury it?

I’ve got a shovel you can borrow.

Another New Year? What's in it for you?

I hate New Year’s resolutions! It seems that more often than not they are meant to be broken - if not just plain ignored from the start. So many are short-sighted and vague.

Over the years I have resolved to do this and resolved to do that under the guise of a New Year meaning a new start. Most of those resolutions I cannot remember. All of those resolutions I have relinquished to the rubbish heap.

According to statisticbrain.com, one website exploring such mundane issues, 45% of people make resolutions, 38% never make them and 17% do so infrequently. New Year’s resolutions tend to be lightweight, flippant and have no resolution behind them.

Instead of flighty, half-hearted New Year’s resolutions, I think people just need to set some goals, dream their dreams and get off their lazy things and do it!

Many years ago I listened to a tape (think old) of Zig Ziglar. In it he recounted a story of a famous archer named Howard Hill, who won 196 archery tournaments in a row and had been hailed as the world’s greatest archer during his lifetime. Zig spoke of how he could have anybody shooting as well as Howard Hill in a very short length of time – provided they first blindfolded Howard Hill! When people laughed, he said it’s common for people to respond by asking how you could even hit a target you can’t see. His response was: How can you hit a target you don’t even have?

What he was saying is that we must have a goal; we must have something to aim at if we expect to get anything accomplished.

Let’s all set some goals for this year. Let’s not be like those who set short-term resolutions but never finish the task. Let’s make some real goals and carry them through to the finish.

One of my goals for this year is to publish two more books.

How about you? Time to get serious.

Parked at the library a couple weeks ago, with the motor turned off, I was waiting for the one of those quick drop offs of my daughter so that my wife could head elsewhere. I got there a bit early, and then received a text saying they would be delayed (they were getting haircuts). So I just sat and read on my iPad, listening to Pandora on the car radio. Oh, and did I mention the motor was turned off?

It was a decent book I was reading. The music was great – I believe it was a traditional Christmas station. Oh, and did I mention that the motor was turned off? For a bout a half hour. Maybe a long half hour.

There was a point where I thought to myself, “The motor is turned off and I’ve been listening to the music. Wonder how the battery is doing?” Turning the key, I heard the telltale clicking of a drained battery.

Not to worry, I said. Just turn off the radio and sit for a minute. A minute later I turned the key and there was that frustrating clicking again! So, here I am, going through those emotions you go through when you think/know you might be in a bind. I was telling myself what I thought of myself for letting this happen by doing something so stupid. You know the talk…

A couple minutes into my self-abuse a little SUV pulls up beside me with a young man. I bit the bullet of my pride and opened my door and looked at him. He opened his door and I asked if he would be willing to give my car a jump. He was, but he didn’t have jumper cables. That’s ok, I did.

We hooked them up and my car wouldn’t start. I was frustrated, but he was calm. He said, “It’s just not getting a good ground.” He knew what was up! He played with it a short minute and then I turned the key and had ignition! Yippee!

I was effusive in my thanks, and then I asked myself what I could do to say thanks. I asked him if he liked to read. He said he liked it very much. So I went to my trunk and got out one of my books and signed it for him.

What a blessing Kyle was to me. In the busyness of his day, he took the time to help me.

In this busy season, remember it’s the small moments that often make a difference to us and to those around us.

Look for those moments and do not forsake them.

Will the preacher have to lie at your funeral?

        

I saw a t-shirt once that said, “Live your life so the preacher doesn’t have to lie at your funeral.” It started me thinking. We all have a pattern to our lives, but how often do we stop to take a long, hard look at our lives?

         When the stock market crashed in 1929, our country entered a tailspin of many years that is referred to as the Great Depression. It was a time of incredible hardship, unemployment and hopelessness. Thousands of homeless people began to wander the country in search of food and jobs. They were known as “hobos.”

         These hobos faced great hardships, coupled with physical and verbal abuse, dishonesty and a host of other issues. They also encountered many kind and loving folks who did their best to lend a hand. These traveling men and women seemed to bring out either the best or the worst in those they encountered.

         There was a code among the hobos. It seems that wherever they traveled, they left behind curious symbols. These symbols, often left on fence posts, doorposts and foundations in inconspicuous places, made no sense to others. Yet to the hobos they were roadmaps that frequently made the difference between starvation and a meal, or shelter and exposure to the elements. Not infrequently, these symbols made a difference between life and death.

         There were symbols for many things, such as:

• ·      Dishonest
• ·      Stay away
• ·      Can sleep in barn
• ·      Help if sick
•     Mean dog

The hobos learned to see through the facades, or false fronts, that people put up in their interactions with others. Hobos were able to see through to the heart to see the true person.

I read a story years ago about a man who owned a general store in a town during the Great Depression. It was not infrequent in those days for a storeowner to leave meat and a loaf of bread on the counter. Customers were welcome to make a free sandwich. It seems that this storeowner noticed an unusual number of strangers making sandwiches and leaving. He perceived that they were hobos. When the next one came in, he stopped the hobo and asked him why so many were coming into his store. Quietly, the stranger motioned for the owner to come outside, where he proceeded to take him around the corner of the building and stopped, pointing to a symbol scratched on the foundation. He said to the owner, “that says you are a kind man and will feed us.”

Like the hobos, all of us will leave a symbol behind. This symbol will not be written by us, but by our loved ones and all others whose paths we crossed during our lifetime.

These symbols of our lives are not just visible when we lay at the funeral home, but are visible at various times in our lives. The high school graduate leaves a symbol behind as to the kind of person they were in school. The way we do business, our interactions with our kids, even the magazines we subscribe to and the shows we watch leave a symbol of our lives.

What symbol have you left behind? Is it a symbol you are proud of? What symbol will others leave for you after your paths have crossed?  What will be the cumulative symbol that describes you at life’s end? If a hobo touched your life today, what symbol would he or she leave to describe you?

Will the preacher have to lie at your funeral, or will he be able to tell the truth?

Think about it.

Wanta know something?

Writing a book is not a solitary endeavor. There are others who are a part of the process.

Of course, there is myself as author. I suppose there is something essential in that role. Then there is my wife who is so supportive. Then there is Jeff who helps design the covers. And there are Kay and Joni who read my manuscript and comment and correct. Then there is Bill, always there with an encouraging word when I need it. And then there is Donna lending her expertise with press releases and stories. Perhaps greatest of all are all of the wonderful people who support this dream by purchasing my books!

It is an example of the reality of life. We need each other. We need to rally around and support one another. There is a biblical concept that comes from the story of Abraham, where he is blessed so that he will in turn bless others. He was blessed to be a blessing.

I have been blessed in many ways in my life. There is within me a firm belief that our blessings are not solitary things, but are intended to provide to us or for us such that we can then pass the blessing on. It’s sort of a “pay it forward” concept. We use what has been given to us to then touch the life of another.

Teaching a seminar today, I spoke of the way that someone opened a door for me many years ago. Actually, both John and Mike opened doors for me. Others with whom I had become acquainted did the same in different avenues. Jackie opened a big door. I haven’t forgotten.

When I speak of doors opened for me, it is difficult to take the next step, because some people might think I’m being prideful. But I am compelled to tell that I have been able to be a blessing to many others over the years by helping open doors for them. It is just a reality and it is something we all should strive to do.

Have you been blessed?

Pass it on!

Are you excited?

I stopped by the truck stop this morning and had a cup of coffee with the guys. One asked me about my books and I just sort of started telling him. I noticed how my voice changed, how I became sort of animated and excited.

That is, indeed, the way we tend to become when we are doing something we enjoy. Whether it is a hobby or a friendship or a job, there is a change that comes about us that others see. Sometimes that change is a positive, such as my excitement this morning or, it may be a negative and our entire countenance may become subdued and troubled.

Which are you?

When it comes to your job, do you get excited or subdued?

When it comes to your general outlook on your life, what is your response telling everybody else?

It is interesting to me that there are so many people who seem to feel trapped by life. They are like hamsters in their wheel. They are running and running and getting absolutely nowhere. They run day after day, year after year – running with no excitement, no animation, no eagerness for what comes next.

Again I ask, which outlook do you have when you speak about your life?

We all understand that there are those days that sort of get the best of us. I have them, too. The telling truth is what outlook is the dominant one on your life?

I urge you all to seek something that gives you excitement, that gives you something to be animated about. It can be a hobby, it may be a new job or a new attitude with the current job, or it may be one of a whole host of possibilities.

My heart sort of swells when I talk of my book ideas….I love to share.

Ok, so book five is going to be the best yet! Want me to tell you about it?