Are you Desperate?

Ok, all those who are starting to follow my blog, here's another quote:

'Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.'                                                                               -Henry David Thoreau-

I know it sounds like Ziglar's, or I should say Ziglar's sounds like Thoreau's, but it adds another component to the discussion - desperation.

In my counseling practice over the years, I did indeed see this "quiet desperation." It manifested in people coming to see me dissatisfied with life and was especially prominent when there seemed to be little or no prospect for change. There was unhappiness, there was loss or lack of hope and a frustration to be on this sort of treadmill with nothing but the same-old-same-old view of the future.

Many times I saw this in the visits I had with people working in factories, doing the same job, pulling the same lever or whatever, and having an incredible income. Often they also had really neat bass boats and 4X4 trucks and money to do what they wanted, but were working 12 hrs a day and 7 days a week, either by mandate or lifestyle and as a result had no time to do anything but be depressed. A desperation would creep into their lives and they would come for counseling.

I found that many of these individuals had dreams. The dreams were sort of tucked down deep inside and they had given up on them. They were desperate about life, in that it wasn't what they had planned so long ago when they were kids with the future laid out before them.

Another issue seemed to be that so many reacted to failure of a dream or part of one by doing what so many do: give up and go back to what they were doing and never try again. It made me heart sick to see them sort of curled up inside themselves and unwilling/unable to face the possibility of failure again.

Many years ago, probably 15-16 years ago, I had a young man who was living a hard existence in his town, barely getting along. He always reminisced about an earlier time in life when he lived in Phoenix and how he had family and friends there. He was entering into quiet desperation early in his life and would bemoan the fact that he lived here and not there. Yet he lacked the confidence to just go to Phoenix and start over. It took about three months of encouragement, then one day I took him to the bus station and he got on the bus. A couple months later I got a letter from him stating his thanks and how happy he was.

I also think there was a sense of desperation in the writing of my book. It took so long and I am not getting younger. It was a dream that could have easily not happened.

Thoughts?